Discovering the Hidden Signs of ADHD in Girls

Subtle Differences in Behavior

My daughter was always easy-going, especially compared to my son, who lives with Autism. She didn’t have the meltdowns he experienced at the same age, nor was she impulsive (or so I thought). I assumed that because she seemed “chill” and didn’t exhibit the obvious behaviors like her brother, she must be fine. Little did I know that ADHD symptoms in girls aged 6-10 years can look quite different from those in boys.

They are often more subtle and easily overlooked—something I learned the hard way.

The Wake-Up Call

It wasn’t until my daughter turned 8, in Year 3, that I received a significant wake-up call. Some test results came home, and to my shock, she was in the lowest percentile possible. As a teacher, I was stunned. How had I missed it? How did I not see that something was wrong?

I immediately scheduled a meeting with her teacher. My worry was overwhelming. I knew my daughter was intelligent, prompting me to tell myself,

“It’s just one test on one day; this doesn’t show her true ability. She was just having an off day.”

But during our meeting, I was taken aback to hear that the results were consistent—she was struggling across the board. Even her teacher admitted that my daughter had “slipped under the radar.”

Understanding Why ADHD in Girls Gets Missed

The teacher elaborated that my daughter didn’t display disruptive behaviors. Instead, she was always helpful, volunteering to assist others, and tuned into what was happening around her. On the surface, she appeared fine. However, the teacher's comment made me ponder:

“Could this be a sign of ADHD? Could she be struggling with focus?”

This didn’t align with the typical image I had of hyperactivity. Still, it raised the possibility that it might still be ADHD.

Recognizing ADHD Symptoms in My Daughter

After the meeting, I decided to pay closer attention to her behavior at home. That’s when I began noticing the signs of ADHD more clearly:

• I had to remind her multiple times (usually 5 or more) about brushing her teeth before she would do it.

• She could hardly sit and watch TV for more than 10-15 minutes without jumping up to do something else.

• She frequently left tasks incomplete. For example, she would start cleaning but never finish.

• She was easily distracted, quickly jumping from one activity to another.

• Time management was a major issue. Getting her out the door in the morning felt like a constant battle. We were always running late.

  
  

Seeking a Diagnosis

At the time, we were already seeing a child psychologist for my son, so I quickly arranged an ADHD assessment for my daughter. What followed genuinely surprised me:

She was diagnosed with ADHD.

I was in disbelief. How had I overlooked it all these years?

Other Signs I Failed to Recognize

Looking back, there were many other signs of ADHD in her that I missed:

• Interrupting: She would often speak out of turn or blurt out answers without waiting her turn.

• Overtalking: She could be excessively talkative, often dominating conversations or jumping in with off-topic comments.

• Impulsive Decisions: She frequently made rash decisions without considering the consequences. This particularly showed up with online shopping—impulse buying is not our friend.

• Emotional Outbursts: While she did have emotional reactions, they seemed less intense compared to her brother’s. I mistakenly thought her reactions were “normal” by comparison.

  
  

Academic Struggles

Academically, my daughter faced challenges in reading, writing, and math. However, these struggles stemmed not from a lack of intelligence but rather from difficulties in focusing and staying organized. She often found it challenging to concentrate on tasks, remember instructions, and maintain her focus. Procrastination was another issue—we would often delay tasks until the last minute. Even now, she struggles to know how to start on her assignments. I find myself sitting beside her, breaking everything down into manageable chunks to prevent her from feeling overwhelmed.

ADHD in Girls Compared to Boys

What surprised me most was how different her ADHD appeared compared to what I expected based on boys. My daughter wasn’t overtly hyperactive; instead, she displayed significant inattention and impulsivity. These symptoms can easily be mistaken for other issues, such as anxiety, depression, or mood disorders. In fact, my daughter was previously diagnosed with generalized anxiety, and

I’m convinced that diagnosis was linked to her undiagnosed ADHD.

The Importance of Early Diagnosis for Girls with ADHD

I have learned that ADHD in girls is often underdiagnosed, presenting quite differently from boys. Girls may show less overt hyperactivity but often struggle with inattention, impulsivity, and emotional regulation. This can lead to delayed diagnosis and treatment, resulting in academic and emotional challenges.

The first step in supporting girls with ADHD is ensuring they receive the correct diagnosis. It’s crucial to pay attention to the subtle signs, especially when a child's behavior doesn't fit the typical “hyperactive” mold. ADHD in girls can often be misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression, when the root cause could be undiagnosed ADHD.

Moving Forward

Our journey is far from over, but now that we have the correct diagnosis, we can begin working on strategies and interventions to support my daughter’s growth. We still have a long way to go, but at least we finally understand what’s happening.

If you suspect your child may have ADHD, don’t hesitate. Early diagnosis and intervention are crucial to helping children with ADHD achieve their full potential.